to bicur_mwm52 :my 1st was from behind, but we were outdoors. Later, the first time I was in a man's (a good deal older) bed, on my back naked and spread open I felt like you, exposed and vulnerable. I love the weight of a man pressing me down onto his bed as he fucks me.
to Newcumer78 :Yup. The guy who got my as cherry told me beforehand that it would probably hurt, and a good chance I'd cry. It hurt, and there were tears, and an emphatic yelp, and squirming, and legs flailing (I was in missionary), and clutching the sheets. I'm glad nobody else was there to see me, but I did NOT want it to stop. And once he was fully inside, and I was open and stretched it got progressively more pleasurable. It actually felt good when he started to inseminate me.
to Henry_Rinoceronte :I don't know about the "innocence" part. I spent months looking for a guy who I felt knew how to initiate a virgin. He had apparently done that to several young boys, and he was curious to see if an "old guy" (I was in my 50's) reacted similarly. He was a little surprised that I whimpered, squirmed, yelled and cried like they did. He obviously knew how a virgin's mind, as well as his body, worked. He prepared me well for what was going to happen. (He definitely changed my prejudice against kissing another man!) I won't say he went out of his way to be extra gentle - which I actually enjoyed - but he did work to keep things just inside the realm of "hurts-so-good", and not lapse over to "hurts-too-much".
As his semen soothed my sore anus afterwards there was connection, but little (if any) remorse. At first it bothered me that he had enjoyed watching my un-manly reactions to being popped, split, and inseminated. Then I admitted that it was all part of the overall experience and, in fact, contributed to my satisfaction.
My preferred partners are cheating husbands. Some of them show the embarrassment you mention. They might still be twitching when they pull out . (I MUCH prefer to keep the cock inside me until it goes completely soft and my sphincter squeezes it out.) Then they dress quickly and leave immediately. I imagine that their wives will be frustrated and horny that night, because all of their cum is in my rectum, rather than looking for an egg to fertilize inside her pussy.
to biscut :Oh, you should do it, Brother. Be smart and safe about it, of course, but get your hole stuffed and see what kind of "man" you truly are. I'm about as burly and manly a looking guy as there is. I had no idea what surrendering to another man's cock would do to me. It is "transcendental" in the truest sense of the term. IMHO, of course. Cheers!